The Industry of Change.

     Seldom to I write to "vent"...Journaling went out of "style" for me when it was forced upon me by as a way to let off steam or deal with stress. I am not fond of being made to do things; I am, admittedly, a stubborn person, almost to a fault. And just as I am a stubborn person, I am a person of heart...I can be over-sensitive and emotional. I mean well with almost everything I do. 2 years ago I did not see myself working in the makeup/hair industry...dreamt of it, you bet; predicted it would be my job, hardly. It was something I explored with, something I dabbled with. When it became the rabbit hole I was falling down I was scared, who wouldn't be. It was new...it was a position I was putting myself in to be easily judged by others. Growing up that was always a top fear of mine, being judged. I sat through all my years of high school and college fearing that all eyes were on me, constantly judging me with what could only be another person's best assumption. So, I sought out the training I needed to become a professional in this industry. I worked for free, I worked when I didn't want to work like any professional in any field typically does. I learned in my training to one day expect that one piece of negative criticism that didn't sit well with you, that you are supposed to take what you can from it and still walk away knowing you are capable of the greatest things. Well, today when I heard that piece of criticism, which almost read as insulting in a way to me, I immediately felt defeated. All day I have walked around almost sick with disappointment that someone walked away feeling like they did as a result of something I did. No amount of positive thoughts generated was lifting the feeling of defeat from me, I couldn't even cry, and if you know me, I am a crier!! So, I decided to look for the catharsis that has always supposed to come with writing. Why I chose to put this in a blog post I don't know...especially considering the abundance of blank notebooks and journals that continuously find their way into my possession. Maybe it will be one of those situations where someone else who has ever felt defeated could perchance upon this and realize, yeah, we all have that moment.
     Ever since the new year I made a promise to myself, not a resolution, a promise...you break a resolution and there is no personal accountability associated with it I feel, you break a promise...you have to hold yourself accountable. I don't like when others break their promises to me, so why would I want to break one to myself. Whenever summer ends I almost immediately always fall into a hot mess funk, and it's been this way ever since my dad unexpectedly passed away on 1-1-11. This "hot mess funk" usually lasts until the first week in January ends. Yes, it is depression. True sadness. I have sought help for this. Feeling sad and abandoned is a terrible feeling. I bottle it up as long as I can, then there's usually a meltdown around Christmas, a lull, and then my "usual" self kicks in. My husband climbed on the "lets make a change" bandwagon with me, and when the first of the year kicked in, we made the changes. We've redecorated the house, we donated a TON of our clothes and are replacing them with better ones. My husband got a new job. I am slowly, but oh so surely, buying new, better product to give me clients the optimal experience with the most fantastic results. And the fact that change isn't always instantaneous is unsettling for me, but things are changing for the better. I can only thank God up above that he is granting me the patience (although the patience wears thin at times) to allow these changes to take place. Change is scary, but when you know that it's all for the better, you accept it.
     So the criticism I received today, unsettling yes. Do I know that it's a past incident? yes. Am I accepting it? I am. Does it still make me a little sick to my stomach? it does. It may be affecting my night (especially considering the week we've had around here), but I cannot let it affect things to come. I chose to do what I do, and I am choosing to make the changes I am making. I want to know I am doing things that my father (may he rest in peace) would be proud of. I could've taken my Bachelor's degree, sat behind a desk and fiddled with spreadsheets all day, but that wasn't the creative position I wanted. So, I cannot let anyone dull my sparkle now, considering I am guilty of diminishing my own sparkle at times. The warmer weather brings on change, and it was quite warm today. There are so many seminars, webinars, conventions, trade shows coming up. I want my sparkle to be quite luminescent (all cheesiness aside). I cannot confess all the changes that are being made, and some are certainly more exciting than others, but I have a great man to hold my hand in this journey, and God is good to let us have it together.
Here's to falling further down the rabbit hole...

XO,
J.

Birchbox: Best Year Ever & Updates.

     Happy 6 weeks old to my sweet little nephew!!! January is flying by, oh my goodness. I feel like there is oh so much to do and hardly the time to do it...and let's face it, I don't foresee giving up nap time when it does become available ;) I'm glad to be back in the studio working on different shoots, and I was able to work with a new photographer last weekend. I'm looking forward to building my portfolio and also have a few part time "job" jobs potentially lined up...it's all about marketing yourself I suppose. I am also in the process of revamping my kit and incorporating a few new product lines for client use...it's taking some time though, so somedays I feel like I should stick a big "under construction" sign on my train case. Keeping with the updating things, the husband and I have been slowly, but surely, redecorating the house and it seems to be coming together. Right now I'm a little obsessed with finding the right couch throw pillows...it's like a legit mission...and when I do find some I like, the hubs doesn't...and it always reminds me of the year we got in a fight in the middle of Target over which Christmas wrapping paper to get...it was like war in the seasonal section. We truly do fight over the most dumb things...never money, vacations, etc etc...throw pillows and wrapping paper...and each other's shoe purchases. Change is big for us this year too, we have some exciting things in the works, and the hubs starts his new job very soon, so naturally I am quite proud of my permanent roommate.

Onto January's Birchbox, titled "Best Year Ever", and here is hoping for just that!!

Box Contents



*Aerie Shimmer Fragrance... A blend of bergamot, peony and vanilla.

*Embryolisse Lait-Creme Concentre 24-hour Miracle Cream... Now, I love discovering new, great skin care lines/products, but I must admit that the word "embryo" in Embryolisse was a tad bit off-putting, maybe it's just me...This is a french brand (supposedly a favorite of models and makeup artists...we will see about that!). It is a moisturizer that heals dryness and leaves skin primed for foundation. Now, I have talked to a few makeup artist friends/colleagues who have said they have of recent been using a BB cream instead of a silicone based primer. I haven't tried this yet, although I did have the intention of doing so. A good primer can be pricey...I prefer the line by Smashbox and those by Victoria Secret. I do love a good BB cream, and of course something in that category by Garnier or L'Oreal would be a much more affordable alternative to a primer if your skin does respond effectively to it. So, if this moisturizer can act as a primer as it claims, it is only $16 for a full size product, which falls at the middle point, monetarily speaking, between a primer and BB cream. (for the most part anyway). I shall put this product in my "To try" box.

*Number 4 Clarifying Shampoo... I always say this, so excuse any comment that may be broken record-esque...I am always skeptical about new shampoos and conditioners...this is a clarifying shampoo by the brand Number 4, which I was not familiar with until receiving this sample product. It has a "low-suds" formula that removes any buildup without stripping hair of essential oils. It's $32 for a full-size bottle, so, even without trying it, right now I say "mehh".

*theBalm cosmetics Hot Mama... Yesss...I love theBalm cosmetics...they make some of my favorite products so I was pretty excited to get this little gem. This is a 2-in-1 blush/highlighter. It is a really pretty pigment with a subtle golden shimmer. I've swatched it below, but believe me, the swatch does not do it justice!! And a full-size is only $20, which is a great price for the product quality...check out their website for sure.

*Deborah Lippmann the Stripper to Go... This was a scented nail polish remover mitt (finger sized mitt) that was supposed to have a sweet scent and make changing your polish super easy. Notice my use of the past tense "was"??...yeah, I tried this out, and for the Deborah Lippman brand I was surprisingly disappointed. The package label said it was equipped with enough of the solution to remove polish from 10 nails, I think I got through 6 nails when there was no hope for attempting the other 4 with this mitt contraption. I was actually trying to take of the polish in the picture above, light gray and one accent blue nail (OPI's French Quarter for Your Thoughts and Dating a Royal...two faves!!). So, I had to hunt down a bottle of acetone and finish them up. Also, there was no sweet smell that I could detect; just your everyday finger nail polish remover smell. I much prefer the little container of remover that you just stick your finger in and twist...I'll be sticking with that. Sorry DL.

I hope everyone is having a great week thus far!! If you had a different content list for your January BB share below, or let me know if you have any fave products similar to those mentioned above!!
XO,
J.



Review: Masqueology Revitalizing Eye Gel.

     Wow, 2013 has made it's way in and got started!! I feel like these first few weeks have just flew by!! There are so many exciting things going/on and coming up! I wanted to do a little review on one of the products I received in a Birchbox 2 or so months ago; Masqueology's Revitalizing Eye Gel with Pearl Powder.
     These are little gel masks that you place under your eyes to reduce puffiness and help brighten and refresh the eye area. Although this product is marketed out of Los Angeles (or so I inferred from packaging), it was actually researched and developed by Korean dermatologists. I have heard so many great things about Korean cosmetics, and what I have tried I have liked, so I was eager to try out these under eye masks.
     When you open the package there are two little gel strips (think Biore pore strip size), with a curved shape to fit the under eye area more precise (I had taken a picture, but it was accidentally deleted, oops!). The little masks themselves are sticky, almost to the point they were messy if you over-handled them. There are of course a list of ingredients that make up the mask's formula, but key ingredients featured are hydrolized collagen, caviar, pearl powder, algae and adenosine. They are also supposed to have a cooling sensation while you have them on your face; the recommended time to leave them on is about 20 minutes. I did feel this cool sensation but after about the first 10 minutes it almost felt like a slightly irritated feeling, like when you use a really bad facial toner.
     After removing the masks, I felt like my under eye area did appear a little bit brighter. I thought at first this was just because the gel was being reflective since it was still a little bit moist. After the area(s) has completely dried the under eye area still looked brighter than before mask application, not luminous like I had hoped for, but brighter none the less. My eye area felt refreshed for a minute or so afterwards but then my skin began to feel tight, or "stretched", once again like when using certain toners. I can't really speak on whether or not there was a reduction in puffiness because my eye area was not puffy to start with, but I saw no change in the before and after.
     You can purchase 3 of these masque treatments for $24, and they can be used as a part of your regular skin care routine. How do I, personally, feel about the gel masks...honestly, I could take them or leave them. I already have so many products I trust to brighten the eye area, that I couldn't really see myself going out of my way to purchase these. They are one time use products, so $24 for 3 could start getting pricey and  it seems like you would need to make them a part of your skin care routine on a regular basis in order to achieve and maintain optimal results. Plus, I wasn't all that fond of the "cooling sensation" or tight skin feel I was feeling afterward.
     Masqueology has tons of other products of course, and I have a few more by them I will try out. You can visit their website at www.masqueology.com.
     Have you tried this product or others by Masqueology?? Do you have a favorite under-eye brightening product?? Comment below.
XO,
J.